In a recent trip to Wayzata Minnesota, where Brian and Vanessa were doing a Marmot Pre-showing for the team at Ski Hut, one of the most frightening possible things happened to Brian.For those of you that know me-Brian-and know of my eating habits and such, know that I have an inherent and detestful loathing of Bananas. The pungent smell of a Banana opened even within the same room or bus will bring me down with a wave of nausea. My "better" friends know better then to eat them around me and it is usually with great regularity that my friends will chide me about "getting a banana" after a long day of climbing and such.
To give you an idea of just how much I can't handle bananas I have to flashback to my attempt to fulfill an around the world beer tour at the Stadium bar and Grill in Chicago. When I'm in the area Sunday and I will often go there as it's close to her home and has some pretty good pizza. I'm kind of a connoisseur of great beers and like to pride myself on seldom finding one that I have not had. During one parituclar visit to the Stadium, where they keep a card on hand that tells you what beers of the 200+ that they have on had you've already sampled,-(and once you finish you are immortalized on a plack in the back of a smolky room pretty cool , eh)- we were enjoying some great Chicago pizza and picking beers by numbers on the card. I made the errant mistake of picking number 77. One mistake I will not soon forget. I usually pride myself on two very important things. 1. I never break my word. 2. I never leave a beer behind. It was very apparent after one sip though that I was going to have to leave a beer behind for the first time EVER as it was BANANA FLAVORED!!!! Who coud be so cruel??!! Fortunately I pawned the beer off on Sunday-who I don't think she could even finish, but "technically" I preserved my never leave behind principle.
Please do understand that it is not by choice that I have this disgust for bananas. Having been a competitive triathlete for years among other active pursuits, I recognize the Potassium/B12, etc goodness that comes packaged in a banana. My logical sense however is still regularly overpowered by what some might say "irrational" fear of them in general.
So, after having had a rough night spent trying to sleep sitting upright in the car, as it was too packed with samples to enjoy a nice recline and believe it or not there was not a hotel room to be had in the greater Minneapolis area DUE TO DEFF LEPPARD selling out every hotel we stopped at, I was UNpleasantly surprised and a bit mortified to start my day confronted by a GIANT sign touting bananas.
Being the bold adventurer that I am I steered as clear as possible from a store that made a living selling bananas. However, after a great meeting with the awesome crew at Sports Hut, and Vanessa's need for some of that strong Caribou Coffee, curiosity got the best of me and I had to check it out.
What I was sure I was about to see was what I might liken to my personal seventh level of hell. A store chock full of bananas and banana related products. Of course I'm still somethat realisitic and didn't expect to see only edible bananas, but "fun" talking stuffed bananas, banana stationary, banana cook books, banana alarm clocks-(although if the snooze was somehow smashing it and it didn't smell like Bananas I might go for that, then again waking up to a Banana sounds like a nightmare to me)-postcards, etc.
As I got closer to this infamous shop I found myself a bit mortified and relieved at the same time. Relieved as this store of bananas was designed for kids. Although I'm still a kid at heart I like to think, I'm glad to know that I'm likely not classified as one and thereby would not be slated for any banana related propaganda that this particular shop would be trying to "push". Not being the target customer I felt like I could get a little closer and possibly even peer in the window-from a safe distance of course. As I was saying though, at the same time I was mortified to see that it was a banana store for kids. Kids! These poor unsuspecting children, some of them not even able to tie their own shoes, much less choose what kind of fruit concoction would be impressed upon them. I
have a deep empathy for children who have fruit pushed apon them with the whole "here comes the airplane" bit. Apparently I once ate bananas, WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE!! Still gives me the heebie geebies to just think about it. Thanks Mom!!!How Dare these people I thought to myself, pushing bananas on babes. Either they were getting their just desserts, or had come to their senses, as the sign posted said FINAL CLEARANCE! Being a small business owner myself I of course would never wish ill luck on anyone, much less another small business owner, unless of course this was some kind of secret ploy to sucker people in for more banana sales. I remember their being a Wayne Jones discount waterbed and furniture liquidation sale almost every weekend for 8 years or so. How could someone be going out of business for 8 years??
In any case I was not going to be one to actually venture into the shop to find out. I was brave enough to get to the front walk, and even had a pic taken to show of my "audacity" in the face of my greatest fear.
All in all I think feel as though I came through the experience OK, but it's going to take me a couple of days before I'm ready to go back and face that kind of stoumach wrenching adversity again. I continue my strike against bananas....................
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